So why the intrigue?
Well basically Zoe, John and Carl!
I woke up early and spent the morning getting dressed Zoe was supposed to meet me at 10am and then she would drive us both into town for a days shopping, coffee drinking, people watching and chatting.
A yummy shower with far too much Molton Brown gels, shampoo and body lotion later I dressed in my Made by Niki Lacy Satin Thong / Matching Plunge Bra / Matching Suspender Belt with nude stockings
I wanted to make the day special and wore an outfit I had seen Sienna Miller wearing about a month ago. I bought all the items (not the underwear) from Asos.
The skirt is an Asos stripped Tulip Skirt / Asos Navy Boy Friend Blazer / Oasis Satin Trimmed Vest / Asos Peep Toe Sling back, High Front Sandal. A hobo international black leather over the shoulder bag, simple pearl earrings and matching chain.
The door bell rings and I take a deep breath and head stand up smooth our my skirt pick up my handbag and jacket and let Zoe in we kiss on each cheek she is full of smiles and energy. I am watching myself in slow motion giggling and hugging Zoe almost jumping with her for joy. We are both speaking at 100 miles an hour both in an excited squeal.
I watch myself and slowly the two people the girl who is excited about a days shopping with her best friend merges with the scared girl who knows she is about to let the world see her real self - Zoe notices the shift and quickly leads me out the door she almost locks my door for me and helps me into the car.
We leave and head towards Covent Garden and we chat every now and then Zoe places her hand on my knee and squeezes it and says it is ok.
We pull into the Tottenham Court Road NCP Car Park and park. Zoe gets out and helps me out of the car I am shaking she hugs me and whispers into my ear.
"Tabby you are a sexy, lovely, kind and convincing fucking women...get over yourself you stupid cow and enjoy the day"
Her harshness and directness shocks me into action I turn and walk towards the lifts strutting
Zoe wolf whistles as I walk away and I spin on my heels and throw back my head and laugh and I blow her a kiss and wink.
and then carry on walking I strut to the lifts and Zoe catches up. We press the button and wait she holds my hand and we wait the lift pings me out of my day dream and the doors open a couple and a man step out of the lift. The couple are to engross in each other the guy walks past both Zoe and I and as we step into the impossibly small lift and turn to face the door I catch the guy looking back at us... I don't say a word but I wonder does he suspect.
Have I failed at the first hurdle in a darkish lift corridor...My moment of fear passes and is replaced with sheer terror as the door opens on the ground floor and I step into the light and the real world.
We leave the carpark entry area and step onto the pavement...
I blink once twice and then the hurrying crowd passes me I am standing still as a tide of shoppers pass me I spin around a little lost and then see a hand I reach out and Zoe pulls me towards her and we start the short walk to Covent Garden I reach into my bag and pull out my sunglasses and put them on.
We walk arm in arm and chat gently I try to make sure my voice is high without sounding horrid. We arrive at Covent Garden Seven Dials and start shopping.
I step into Diesel with Zoe and we begin to browse I am so excited and so turned on and so scared the sheer fear makes me feel a little nauseous Zoe steadies me and whispers
what is it?
I reaply I have not eaten for 3 days so that I could make sure I was as thin as possible and as convincing as poss. She almost shouts stupid girl at me.
Half dragging me out of the shop she takes me into neals yard and we sit down at a cafe and have a coffee and a flapjack.
I start to feel better but I am still shaking and I whisper that I want to go home.
no! god hun how long have we been chatting about this how long...look just drink your coffee
We sit in silence for about 10 mins
I look around and not a single person is looking at us not a single person is looking at us not a single person is... Suddenly I click.
I am convincing I can pass ok not super close up and ok must be careful with my voice but I can pass
I lean in close to Zoe and whisper
Hun she snaps back What!
Hun I repeat that guy over there is so yummy
She giggles and whisper hi Tabby glad too meet you.
I almost burst into tears...
I manage to control myself and smile thank you we pay for the coffee and food and leave arm in arm we stroll along going into one shoe shop then the other I try a pair on and no one flinches. We leave office and hail a cab we get in and Zoe asks the cab to take us to Selfridges and we settle in for the short ride and chat.
The cabbie starts to ask us questions and Zoe teases him. I smile, nod and keep my responses to one word answers.
We arrive and alight the cab and enter the temple of fashion. Zoe has agreed to pay for all my shopping with her credit card so that I am not exposed and I will then pay her back
We stop at the bio therm counter and try some of their body cream, we try some perfumes and then almost race to the lingerie floor.
We look at various brands and I purchase a Madam V babydoll, String and cuffs.
Zoe hands me the bag and I am almost shaking with joy I am walking arm in arm with my friend holding some underwear that I did not buy online or pretend it was for my girl friend.
I selected it for me in public.
My confidence starts to grow and I get very excited and start to strut Zoe heads us down to the mens floor she wants to buy hubby a shirt for a party they are going too.
We end up on the ground floor and spend far too much time looking at handbags.
Zoe says that we should head back to Covent Garden and grab a drink at the hotel on Seven Dials the bar there is great. Then perhaps we can go home. I smile and say to her yes I am getting a little tired I have been in these heels for several hours now.
We get into a cab and head back to the Seven Dials.
We get out and I pay the cabbie I feel wonderful as I stand in Covent Garden looking through my purse for change to give the cabbie a tip. Such a normal everyday thing but for me it was like climbing my everest.
We walk up the 3 steps and the doorman opens the door and lets us into the bar. It is a very chic place and the patrons all look the part.
Every girl has shopping bags. The waiter nods and we settle into a corner booth and I ask Zoe why she is taking up so many seats she tells me not to get upset and holds my hands and starts to explain.
I.... I... have asked John to meet us here in about half an hour (she checks her watch) I can call him and cancel it
Why Hun I start to stammer she interrupts and repeats I can cancel it if you are not happy but just hear me out
I nod and listen
I have told John about you some time ago - he is cool with you. Hun I had to as he would be more upset if he felt that I was visiting you as a guy almost everyday.
I nodded and held her hand tightly I guess that makes sense I reply. If I think about it you are right. Ok what happens now
Well hun she replied thats not it.
ok what then
Hun John is bringing along a friend of his a guy called Carl. John met him some time ago and Carl is bi. I think it is time Tabby stopped hiding.
Our drinks arrived two cosmopolitans. I almost drunk mine in one.
I looked at Zoe directly in her eyes and she said
Hun Carl knows but you are in total control if you want to stop at anytime just say purple and we will get up and leave and I will drive you home no questions asked.
Zoe said is that a yes
I looked at her and mouthed ok...
Zoe pulled out her mobile and sent the text to John
YES that was the text simple clean and efficient
10 mins later they arrived. (Zoe told me later they were round the corner waiting as they got there earlier and John was told by Zoe to follow the instructions to the letter or else)
John this is Tabitha
Carl this is Tabitha
Zoe introduced us all
I smiled and said please guys call me Tabby the ice broke and we all sat down
Well ladies Carl began what have you been upto Zoe chatted and said this and that
John laughed how much has this trip cost me Zoe smiled and replied lots.
The waiter arrived and orders were taken
More cosmos and more chatting Zoe excused herself and I stood up to join her we went to the loo and as we walked away she told me to really strut I really tried to walk as model like as possible
Zoe pushed open the door to the female loos and we both entered (I rcommend the loos at Dials bar in the Seven Dials they are stunning and amzigly clean ladies and the cubicles are huge)
Zoe entered a cubicle and sat down to take a pee I was taken aback and stood there eyes open wide as she wiped herself and then stood and pulled herself together and said simply your turn
in a daze I pulled down my thong and hiked up my skirt and sat down to pee while Zoe gabbled on what did I think, is he cute, what do you think, etc etc etc
I pulled some tissue and dapped myself and then stood up and got myself together and we both stepped out into the main loo area.
Zoe washed her hands and another cubicle opened up and a women stepped out I was shocked but calmed myself down - Tabby I said to myself you are in the ladies loos what do you expect to happen.
The girl greeted us both washed her hands checked her make up sprayed a little perfume on and left while Zoe was doing the same.
Zoe clicked her fingers and said come on hun wash wash make up and then lets get back to the guys.
Robotically I did as she asked and we stepped back into the bar reception area up the stairs, passed two guys and a concierge who nodded at us both.
As we walked back to the guys they got up and then sat down as we did.
Carl kept chatting and I listened, nodded and smiled, Zoe begged me to show my baby doll and I did (too many drinks) A girl from the next table walked over and asked me where I I had bought the babydoll from I replied as sweetly as possible and she thanked me and left.
Zoe almost squealed with delight and slowly but surely the alcohol did the trick and I lost more and more of my inhibitions
Zoe suggested that we should go back to theirs (there boy was staying with Zoe mum - she had planned this out the cow - Hun if you are reading this and I know you are Thank You)
We got back to Zoe's and John's car and we all got in.
We all chatted and joked and Carl was holding my hand before too long, we arrived at Zoe's I felt safe as my home was just next door and I knew I could escape now easily.
We all sat in their living room and chatted. John put on some music and Zoe and I got up and started to dance and we being very provocative and embraced and kissed.
John stood up a few seconds later and started to dance with Zoe and then Carl did the same with me.
Zoe turned around to me and said enjoy hun, you know where everything is, you are more than welcomed to stay and she kissed me deeply on my mouth and walked hand in hand with John upstairs.
I stood there and Carl looked at me I felt like a scared deer in the headlights of his full beam car. He stepped forward and placed his hands on my shoulders I cringed and he said hey it's ok hun....
He took something out of his pocket and said this might help. I said what is it he said its just coke hun this might help you a little. I have never I whispered.... He said it's ok hun just a little do what I do he took a snort and then I did also.
The drink the coke and the situation had my head spinning. I was lost totally and Carl slowly added pressure on my shoulders more and more gently - not too hurt but more too guide me before I knew what was going on I was on my knees he soft cock was in my hand and I was stroking it and watching it intently as it hardened.
I opened my painted lips and y tongue flashed out tentatively I licked the head then without a thought opened my mouth and swallowed his cock my tongue tasted his cock a mixture of musky salty flavours. I could feel his veins and skin texture.
He moaned loudly I looked up a little surprised and realised for the first time that this was a real cock and was really attached to a man and it was in my mouth...
I pulled back and he held my head in place I tried to say no but my mouth was full and it sounded like a moan and he slowly started to buck his hips and I pulled back he let me go and I got up. He said what is it hun...
I smiled and said sorry I am a little confused thats all. I drank some more wine trying to rid the musky taste from my mouth and kissed him on the lips he held me and kissed me back his hands were everywhere my skirt hiked up and his hand in my thong he whispred my you are small just like I like my girls to be... He played with my male clit and his other hand was fingering my asspussy and suddenly I started to cum I moaned and bit his shoulder I was mostly still dressed he was almost naked. I came on his hand and in my thing he pulled out his hand and I licked it clean and then he pulled down my thong and pushed me down onto the sofa. I could feel him standing up and then him pulling apart my cheeks I felt something push into my asspussy I turned and looked over my shoulder and he pushed in a thin-ish candle and then poured wine down the candle it trickled into me and down my crack he slowly started to moce the candle in and out and I moaned he quickly pulled it out and then said to me in a low guttural voice do you want me to fuck you whore - all I could do was bite my lip and squeak pls sir...
He laughed and pushed a finger in and then another I squirmed and squealed and then he pushed the fingers in the wine and then into my mouth. I felt his cock on my entrance and said ok slut I am going to teach you want it means to be a women are you ready... Playing along I said yes sir and he grapped a handful of my hair and drew back I said
pls no pls and started to cry...
Carl stopped and my crying became loud and scary (Zoe told me later) and she and John came down to see what was going on Carl left and got dressed in the hallway as Zoe sat on the sofa with me.
I got up and the wine ran out of my asspussy and down my thigh and I borrowed a coat from Zoe and left and Zoe took another coat and followed. (I found out later John and carl got dressed and sta inthe kitchen waiting for Zoe while they drunk coffee)
Zoe said as we got into my place are you ok did he hurt you what is wrong...
I just could not talk and then she said ok hun take a few mins and we can catch up later. She helped me undress and helped me into the shower she went downstairs to make coffee and I turned up about 15 mins later in a male polo shirt and jogging pants.
She looked up as I came in and nodded and said she understood no need to chat and handed me a coffee sat with me for an hour and then simply said decide who and what you are hun.
(might be worth reading my other posts on who am I) and then give me a call.
She did not say it in a horrid way or even judgmentally but rather in a knowing way reading between the lines Zoe said hun choose who you are and be that person.
I let Zoe out and went to bed and cried for at least an hour till it turned to sobbing then finally sleep.