I am not sure what is happening to me perhaps my shopping trip yesterday with Zoe had a huge effect and it is something I will blog about but I need to understand what happened yesterday and decide how I feel about the events before I write about them as I am not sure how to begin.
As most of you have guessed I am not overly sexual - yes I do enjoy being femm and imagining sexual encounters as a girl but I dress for the pleasure of the clothing and how it makes me feel and not for a sexual kick.
Having said all of that last night was very strange. Like most T girls I have a number of toys that I like to use from time to time nothing extreme just what most modern women would have in a draw in their bedroom.
I felt very sensual, very alive I had a great day and wanted to continue the feeling into the night. So I bathed and made sure I was as smooth as silk and smelt divine then I dressed in my most luxurious underwear. I spent a small fortune on this outfit from La Perla recently and I only wear it when I feel divine and totally femm.
The nickers are soooo divine they are soo silky and smooth and just make me shudder when they slide up my thighs.
The bustier is stunning and one that made me buy the most expensive breast forms I could afford. They were from a specialist prosthetics company. Very realistic and fitted to mu chest so that they would create a smooth and integrated fit as possible with the adhesive tape some days I almost forget they are not real. They look stunning in this bustier.
This robe from the essentials range
I must admit to having trouble controlling my well you know when I am dressed in this outfit it (fortunately even when hard I am not what one would call big...medium or even small.) makes me swoon. I always overdo the makeup and then I strut into the kitchen and pour myself some champagne and gently sit on the sofa and watch TV while I almost puuurrr to myself. I giggle and switch position making sure I revel in the feelings the smell of my perfume the taste on my lips and the sensation of the material on my body.
I never last very long and find myself strutting to my bedroom totally a women. My mind wonders and giggles in the sensation overload and I wonder what I would do if a man was here would I could I..... I know I look stunning and my confidence is a total fake based on the shield of underwear the flimsy fabric somehow empowers me and I know that if a man was here I would please him and he would be totally satisfied... I blush at the thought and turn to my chest of draws... I pause to smell the fresh flowers in my bedroom and smile at how feminine I am behaving. I pull open the draw and search through my panties to find the cock shaped realistic dildo. I smile and blush I am such a prude I giggle and put back the dildo somehow this perfect moment feels real and the dildo does not somehow the dildo feels like it is cheapening the event...I stand for a moment and enjoy the view in my bedroom full length mirror. I notice how the bustier nips in my waist and makes my hips flare slightly I notice how the the heel of the shoe forces me to stand and how my legs look long and lean but mostly I notice my eyes they look femm and so willing and so at peace. I almost start to cry and I hear an alien voice say come on girl get a grip it takes me a few seconds to realise it was my own voice.
I calm myself and take another sip of Champagne and slowly take of my underwear and carefully place it in the laundry. I clean my face and I stand naked in front of my mirror I even stand like I girl I think to myself. I am totally exposed to the truth my only remaining lie the last element of Tabby is the breast forms. I smile and cup them gently lifting them and removing their constant pull from my chest.
I crawl into bed breasts still left on I just can not remove them I love them so and I close my eyes and cry myself to sleep.