Tabby, my heart is breaking for you. I feel like I am watching a movie that could be me when I read your posts. I wish I could get an email to you, I tried using the YIM name, but it came back.
For what it's worth from a total stranger on the internet, hang in there. You seem like an intelligent, creative, and giving person who's going through a hard time. I hope you get through it.
thank you all for your support