Friday, 1 April 2011

My challenge, my master and my dreams

Ladies, Gentlemen, Mistresses, Masters, slaves, sissies and all those in between.
I have been thinking about my challenge set by Hugo Black. I want to please him and I want to get something right.

I have as you all know shied away from posting images of myself I have been honest and straight forward about my experiences but I have not been honest about my images - and for that I am truly sorry. I will understand if you all hate me.

Mr Black has pushed me into a corner my needs and desires have made me promise something that means being honest about who and what I want to be. Some of you are wondering why I have been a little shy about posting images of myself - it's simple really fear, hate, fear a little more fear and just a bit more fear.

I have been treated rather horridly sometimes it has been my fault all the posts that are about my life are true and to be honest I have been scared off by my sister - who thinks I am mad and should never reveal as much as I have. I am also terrified that when you see the real me you will all be disappointed I know I am. My need to please Mr Black has forced me into doing this and I am really keen to be honest to him and you all because I do love you all I really do.

Yes I know I am very femm and yes I know when you see my boy mode pics you will all agree that as a guy I am quite femm and yes the hormones and the life path I follow adds to the overall femm look but I am terrified that by revealing myself I am laid bare - naked with no wear to hide....

Does this all make sense?

Is it worth it?

Will you all hate me?

Will you all forgive me?

Oh my god - hands shaking tears and blushing dry throat butterflies in my tummy.....

this is me in boy-ish mode please me kind and gentle...

This is one of my fave pictures en femm.

So with this I lay myself out to abuse and ridicule. All I ask you to remember is my fear and shame before you judge me. (Yes I know I hate my big feet) 

This weekend my friend who is a semi pro photographer will be taking pictures of my attempt to answer Mr Blacks challenge. 

Please be gentle....


  1. Thanks for posting your pictures; I think you're rather pretty, and I look forward to seeing more!

  2. You are very pretty! to hell with the haters.

  3. Tabby, I fear we all go through this fear, this confusion. Hopefully we can emerge the other side.

    You look lovely, you have nothing to worry about at all. And anyone who judges you, says more about themselves than they ever could about you.

    Well done for conquering your fear.

    Y. xxx

  4. blushing and a little tearful - thank you girls

  5. i'd just like to echo what others have said, you look fab darling! power too you for facing up to your fears.. x

  6. Tabby. Stop that. Im sorry you were mistreated by less enlightened people but
    There in no reason for fear, there is even less reason for hate.
    You are being true to yourself, and that is what is important.
    And you didn't really misrepresent yourself either. Not really. I see the same posture, and look in the eyes in your real pictures as i see in your carefully chosen avatar. That probably really IS you. On the inside where it matters.
    Good luck with your journey. I for one look forward to the good news of how this turns out.

  7. Dear, you are not only intelligent, sincere and a really good writer, you are lovely! Honestly!

  8. openly weeping girls I really am.

  9. Ohmygod Tabby!
    you look sweet and lovely in the first picture and INCREDIBLE in the second.

    And - by the time i had scanned down all the way and swallowed my jealousy *giggle* my thought was not "ooo big feet" but "WHERE did she get those sexxy heels?"

  10. first time commenting but your blog is a real experience into your world

    by the way love your legs very sexy

  11. thank you all I am sooooo blushing like mad

  12. Being true to yourself is tantamount to enjoying life. It also helps in enjoying others, and they, if worth it, enjoying you. When that truth, as many here I'm sure will attest, is outside of the safe "norm", well it does honestly get very hard to do. You are in a situation to be able to be true to yourself without harm to others as far as I can tell (your sis may even come around ^.^) go for it. I imagine it will be for the better!!!


  13. Two things:
    1. Honesty is always the best policy. As Shawna has said, being true is tanamount. Carry on Tabby and fear not.
    2. You look totally HOT in those sexy black heels!

  14. Tabby,

    Just wanted to say that you look very envious as would love to look like that too.


  15. Hunni, wish you could realise how many of us would kill to look half as good, you with no make-up look 10 times more femme than me with ahlf a ton of slap. You're totally where I want to be, just hope i catch you up at some point xx

  16. Tabby dearest,

    you are looking definitely cute enough to become a proud model of Mr. Black - someone in between in the very best sense.

    Please go on and let us watch your success!

    sissy moan

  17. It took great courage for you to post these pix. Congratulations. You're both a pretty boy and a very lovely woman. Nothing to be ashamed of.