Thursday, 17 March 2011

A question for you all - does a desire or need define you

I was sitting at home watching tv all night - I have not been out of the flat for almost 3 days I am very down at the mo and find I can not share anything of my thoughts I do not want to speak to anyone and I am running ideas and plans through my head - how am I going to pay for things in the next couple of months why am I not getting any interviews and worst of all I am not sure I want this life style anymore. 

I can only express myself on this blog and I am close to tears I really am tired and I am babbling I am a little drunk I drunk a bottle of wine last night combined with my lack of sleep and utter fear for the future I find myself posting to past the time and to some extent talking to you all because it feels like the only thing I can control at the moment...

I want to be on some hidden tropical island where I can spend the day in a bikini and dressing for dinner meant wearing my lingerie hold ups and evening gloves.

Away from all this grey I want to have my own luxury beach villa and a maid to look after me. 

Several men to make sure I am safe. But most of all real men to fuck me I want them to live like animals naked and kept in pens and I call them when I need servicing I want to be the queen I want everything and everyone to adore me worship me need me....

I want to wear a crown and my maids to use rose petals to scent my boudoir I want to be wealthy, stunning, and a complete bitch 

I would fly around the world shopping 

from my pvt jet to my private limo 

My maids would model the lingerie and clothes I want to buy

I would select a man pet to bring with me so when I needed cock he would service me

I think I might be going a little crazy...

What is your most mad crazy desire be honest be truthful be transparent


  1. Tabby,

    i hope you find yourself in a better place soon, things can often seem at their darkest just before they improve. As for me? Well i'd love to live in a bigger place with my Owner where i can get to be both housewife and whore. For neither of us to have to go out to work but maybe for Owner to have a business that She can run fom home and which i could assist as Her secretary. For the rest of the time to be occupied by travels and trips during which i am made to exhibit myself and act in an ever more shameless manner. That would be lovely.


  2. Right now, all I seem to be thinking about is cock. Can't be more transparent then that. It seems I'm constantly craving an urge to be penetrated. I need someone to pull my panties aside and be FUCKED deeply and passionately. Someone like you posted above would certainly fit the bill Tabby. You are NOT crazy. Where on earth did you find that picture? Goodness gracious!

  3. *big hug and kiss* I get the staying inside and withdrawing thing Sweetie. If it were not for living with Dad I would be like that, but he can be quite irritating so I have to get away sometimes. Plus he has no idea I am really a girl.

    I am obsessed with how my boi clit is withdrawn inside me. I think maybe it wouldn't take that much to transition. I also am imagining big black cocks like you showed on the pic above. I want one to push inside that hole where my boiclit hides and push away the offending thing and fuck me like I should be. I would suck him off all night and day as well. Living naked on an island like animals sounds yummy. Just mindless sex all day long. *sigh*

  4. Recently I have been even more infatuated with women's clothes than usual. Every time I see a woman (on TV, in magazines, in real life), I imagine myself wearing her clothes, or what i would change about them to make them even more feminine or sexier. In every single situation in my real life (at work, business dinners, the gym, dinner with friends) I try to imagine what I would wear if I were a woman - clothes, shoes, jewelry, underwear, hose.

  5. I would say for me it is a desire to be feminine whenever I can find the time. Here lately that hasn't happened.
    Whenever I do see a somewhat attractive woman, it isn't that I want to do her but wish I looked that good wearing an outfit like she is wearing. There are times I think about asking where she brought the outfit.

  6. I want to be a sexy feminized servant to both a dominate woman and dominate man. While serving them, I want to always be wearing high heels that of course make me look sexy, but also make me so very vulnerable as it would be next to impossible to run away wearing 4 inch heels. Whatever silky outfit I happen to be adorning, nipple clamps and a strap-on dildo would of course be always worn and in place underneath. The mixture of pain and pleasure surging through my sensitive nipples and anus as I walk, jiggle, bend over, and carry out my duties would keep me constantly on edge, constantly in line, and constantly weak. I would willingly suck cock for both the amusement of my mistress and the delight of my master. The more I submerge myself in servitude, the more addicted I become to being an obedient good girl.

  7. I hope you are doing okay Tabby. Thinking of you lots as I'm sure everyone here is. . .

  8. keep having your dreams.
    it's the best thing you can do to get past all your problems.
    a desire or a need, just makes you behave in a certain way.
    it doesn't defines you if you don't let it!
    all the people would desire a private island, but not all of them would go steal a bank in order to satisfy their need!
    you may desire a cock. so what? that doesn't mean that you 'll do anything to have one!
    you are a person above all!
    you have hopes, dreams and desires that make you who you are!
    608 followers are here because some of them find in your blog something they like!
    perhaps some of your dreams!
    so keep dreaming missy.
    it's the journey that counts.....