Wednesday, 26 January 2011

A tgirl can dream can't she?

Over the years I have spent hours, giggle perhaps even days dreaming about what if's. 

What if I was a sexy school girl, a business women, a sexy secretary, a cheer leader the list is endless. Lets be honest with each other girls we all do it and to some extent we need to. 

Perhaps it stops us going mad that brief moment when we are sleeping and our femm part takes over and we are that girl next door or the air steward we always dreamed of being.

Over the last 3 years the hormones have changed a lot - my body, my way of thinking perhaps even my dreams. I wanted to post something serious but still fun and I wanted to explore what we all dream of.
What dream do you always use as your backup, you know the one you can always rely on to turn you on, make you feel ever so yummy and the one that leaves you feeling empty once your little sissy clit has  spilled itself. 

Some of you the lucky few are getting ready for bed I can see you all bathing preening yourselves getting ready to slip into your nighties, baby dolls and other lacy and silky garments. You will dress and perhaps as part of your ritual sit watching a girlie flick with a glass of wine imagining you are the girl in the story. The time ticks by and you are ready for bed your head is slightly buzzy from the wine and you giggle as you feel the silk, lace and the satin sheets tease you. 

You are prepared you have your little vibrator and your cream you pull your lace thong to one side and smear the lube on your ass pussy the cold makes you moan a little then you slide in the vibrator and switch it on you giggle as you blush and wonder if next door can hear the hum.

Then there are the type that are not so lucky perhaps they are too fat, too manly or simply live with partners and have to dream their dreams in the shower. Or at night sneaking to the loo to pull on your sissy clits. 

Do you stand in the shower dreaming of being gang fucked by hard bodied men while you finger your little ass pussy and pull on your tiny faggot cock. 

Or are you the type that travels for business and each trip you buy a cheap set of undies or baby doll from somewhere like La Senza and a pair of cheap nasty heels you try to explain to the girl in the underwear shop it is for your wife she has put on weight and you are trying to show her you don't mind.
The girl smiles and tells you how wonderful you are 

What she is really thinking is how much of a faggot you are and that the underwear you have just purchased is nasty, cheap and more importantly any women with any level of class would never been seen dead in it. 

Which ever of these girls is you the one place you can all hide is your dreams wether you sleep alone with your wife or partner you can imagine being anyone and doing anything. 

To help you girls along I will start. I had several fantasies, dreams and wishes. As the years passed and the hormones took hold the dreams changes and morphed but I am sure you darlings out there can connect with some of my dreams...

Many girls will admit to dreaming this - to be a maid to a mistress to serve her and her needs. I remember dreaming that one day I would wake to find my small pert breasts and womanly hips tightly encased in my maids uniform and then I would cum on my hand, I would lick my hand clean and shame would cause me to blush, then sleep would take me. 


Around the same time - perhaps it was the cum I was eating, or the fact that I had been fucked by a guy but I would start to dream of being a secretary. A man's toy a plaything at this stage my cross dressing included clothing so the ultra femm clothing of a secretary, heels, makeup and the tight blouse made the secretary fetish a powerful one add the subservient tendencies I had made the serving a man element sooo much more powerful.

I think this fantasy was the first one I used a dildo with. To this day this makes me feel soooo horny. It must be the combination of clothing, underwear, make up and subservience that works for soooo many girls. Oh and the heels, hand bags and the friendships with other secretaries.

Strangely my next fetish has waxed and waned over the years. To be a bride would send a certain thrill along my spine.  A young virgin girl married and waiting preened and ready for her man to make her a woman. 

I think the journey to the honeymoon excited me. The proposal, then the Hen night the meeting with your girlfriends to try on the bridal gown and their bridesmaid gowns the shopping for the honeymoon underwear then the big day - sleeping with the best man and the brides maids. Ohh such yummy thoughts. 

For many months I would alternate between dreaming of being a maid, a secretary or bride. Around this time my tastes started to expand my thoughts, dreams and desires started to include more guys, and friendships with girls rather than having sex with them. The humiliation was still there but somehow it felt ok, perhaps even good. It might be my sub side but I really enjoyed this period of my dreaming. I was a college girl on spring break, I lived in a house with other cuties. Our sorority was the sexiest.

One night I would be a prim and proper blonde bitch running the sorority. The next night a sexy brunette slut. The next night I would be a virgin girl next door turned into a naughty bitch. Some nights I would imagine being a californian beach bum girl all dirty blonde hair and bikini's I would imagine myself being gang raped by the college basketball team.

Or sleeping with an older professor to improve my grades. I would imagine myself being everything a college girl could be or would experience. 

I was sooo into this dream / fantasy that I even started to dress like a preppy girl from the US. This inevitable lead to school girl dreams....

As I understand it - many tgirls start here but I never found it sexy - schoolgirls seemed very well very at odds with themselves and I wanted more grown up elegance and sophistication - until I had my preppy girls dreams. 

This also opened up another line of thinking for me I wanted to start to create a history for my femm persona I wanted to know who Tabitha was / is. I spent hours lying in bed creating stories for her making up possible histories finally Tabby was truly born. 

I spent days day dreaming and inventing who what I wanted to be. Nights lying in bed imagining being a daddy's girl then going to school and sleeping with the bad boys. I imagined being a pregnant school girl. I dreamt of being in a gang of uber cool girls, then being the prissy geek that takes of her glasses and becomes the school princess. 

My dreams would mostly center around the uniform and sleeping with teachers. Male and female. Although the hormones started to effect my passion for women and I started to fancy guys more. This tends to fluctuate but giggle nothing beats a fat, hard and hot cock right girls. Blush...

I would then adjust my school girl fantasies to incorporate clubs and being a sweetie publicly but behind closed doors I was a vixen a slut a total whore this sent me into waves of pleasure as I would imagine stories within stories and the ability to add more history to Tabby. 

Cocks, cocks and more cocks I became fascinated by sucking cock being fucked by cocks slowly the dreaming changed to the results I wanted to know what it felt like to have cum leaking from me and running down the inside of my thigh I wanted to experience real femm sex - I wanted needed to be as femm as possible at this stage I stopped playing with my sissy clit and spent time playing with my asspussy. 

I wanted to taste cum have it splash on my face stick to my hair - I wanted it on me like a badge of honour to show men and women I am femm

I wanted to show a man how girly I was by licking the cum from my fingers and showing him I was turned on and enjoyed the taste

For a long while I my dreams were filled with normal-ish thoughts I just wanted to be ultra femm and enjoy the experiences real girls did...

I wanted to go on holiday and go topless and enjoy the sun on my breasts 

I wanted to wear a bikini top and the shortest tightest jean shorts I wanted men to lust after me as I strutted along the beach. 

The days rolled on and I wanted to experience wealth and what it was like to dress well, live well and have servants - My mind would wonder and create scenes male slaves serving me kissing me, maids falling to their knees and pleasing me.

Clothing and dressing up became sooo sensual for me. I needed to look wealthy and well dressed I needed to wear La Perla, Myla etc just the feeling of a La Perla silk bra and thong sent shivers and sexual thrills along my spine 

I would imagine beautiful sensual women with their immaculately made faces and perfect nails holding my tiny sissy clit while I played with my nipples.

I spent a fortune on my credit cards buying the most luxuriant underwear I would go to bed in a new babydoll or nightie almost every night and I would fuck myself silly I would cum and cum until the silk, lace, cotton material was saturated with my sissy milk. 

Shoes makeup and dresses - impossibly cute lace vintage blouses and matching bodies and panties 
I got into a lot of trouble with the bank and spent several months sleeping with guys and girls for money until I paid of my credit cards - I am still a shop-a-holic and find that everynow and then I need a wealthy sugar daddy. 

The thrill I get from buying a sexy new outfit - I just well giggle - blushing like mad I almost cum.

My mind perhaps because I slept around a lot - met some pretty horrid guys and surprisingly nasty girls forced me to start to think a little well giggle kinky and I think this is where my fetish for girls O faces, pain faces and pets came from.

I find being collared sooo sexy...

I adore the idea of being someones pet someones plaything and images with girls with leads and saddles started to turn me on - I had no idea how many women adored these images and feelings and I made some very cool people and friends...

I have even slept in a doggy basket - yes I am blushing admitting this and yes I have spent an entire weekend in pig tails, collar, lead and and tail which has been attached to a butt plug and pushed into me - wearing nothing else I spent the weekend being a female dog or kitten and would eat out of a bowl placed on the ground - I have totally abandoned myself to masters and mistresses and been humiliated.

A master has lead me into his garden while I was dressed as his pet - I admit I blushed so hard I thought I would never stop - but the moment we entered the house I orgasmed and he laughed at me and then made me lick up my cum which turned me on even more. 

My dreams were wilder than the reality I experienced and I must admit to finding these dreams, experiences and feelings intoxicating

I started to explore my tgirl-ness again and began to hang around with the bitches - god can a tgirl whine and moan and bitch 

I just wanted to fuck guys and be fucked I wanted for the first time in my life a huge cock so I could fuck them hard - girls and guys this part of my life ended quickly - my sissy clit is tiny even before hormones. 

Pain and being abused even raped came into my mind I was caught out by something that happened one evening - I was watching a couple she a tiny white girl he a huge black guy and she was teasing him and you could see the outline of his cock it was huge - I know stereotypes etc but this really happened - I almost flew home and imagined myself being that tiny girl speared and split on that rod of a cock. 

Images of pain and being split began to fill my thoughts

I wanted to be full of them - so full that they split me

I wanted to tease guys like she did and then get really fucked - wake up sore and giggle not walk straight 

For a brief moment I was very unhappy and started wishing I could be someone else - celebs flew through my mind - One night I was the divine Emma Watson then darling Miss Knightly but for a few weeks I was Natalie Portman 

My mood changed when I started to lose weight and pushed myself to the next level I had stopped trying to be femm and was putting on weight so I got very serious about losing weight and very very serious about being femm.

I started to work out and started to visit blogs where girls had explained how they lost weight and kept it off and their diet plans to follow

I started imagining myself so thin so sexy so female

I moved from ultra thin to ultra fit - this was not a very sexual fantasy world for me but my real world was getting very steamy and I experienced several new emotional states.

I need to return to the sensuality I longed for and my dreams started to fill again with older woem making love in hotel rooms - being naughty....

Dressing up became important again I wanted to explore my new found sensuality and femininity.
I wanted to push my boundaries, my dreams became very sexual and I found great release in them
One night I was a sex starved teacher making love to her college student, the next night I was the student

I was the horny secretary always looking for cock 

I then started to imagine myself in a relationship with another women I was sub she was dom to this day I am sooooooo TURNED ON BY THIS...

Like all good tgirls I know my place and I returned to uniforms dressing up I spent hours looking for images of air hostess - I saw this illustration and it turned me on soooo much. 

Just look at this image - who would you be... I jump from being the blonde to being the air hostess. 
I would lie in bed imaging the scene - oh my I may need to lie down giggle. 

At first I was part of a team fucking, being fucked while we flew - first class passengers other girls, pilots anything my dreams were wild...  

Then the clothing took over I even purchased a virgin uniform from their official supplier. 

Coming full circle I would dress up and role play this soon led to wanting to dress in other uniforms and the ubiquitous school girl uniform re-surfaced - everything was extreme the shortest skirt the tightest tops 

It would send me wild. I then started to dress like an english school girl at boarding school this

opened up sooo many fantasies and ideas it would send me spiralling - half dreaming half dressing mostly playing with myself - blushing I must have orgasmed 8 times a day plus.

I would mix and match the outfits - pretend to be the bitch, the bookworm, the nerd, the bad girl, the virgin....


I don't know why but I would always return to the US - school girl look. 

Perhaps the look is more innocent more girlie and less aggressive and austere - which the UK look could be. This sequence of images I memorised and I would dream of being this girl I would invent histories for her and imagine what it must be like to be her. 

I would spend hours sitting on the bus or the tube thinking about what Katie would do - I imagined her name would be katie - she looks like a Katie.
I wanted to know what underwear she might wear - her taste in boyfriends I wanted to absorb her and somehow become her.

Where am I today well ladies - I am a princess I am too old to be a school girl, to nice to be a bitch, too posh to be a maid, I have too much respect for myself to be a pet (well almost - blush) slave or sub.

Perhaps it is because of the royal wedding, perhaps it is because my journey to women hood has gone as far as it can unless I get the op.

I think like many things it is a combination of several influences. Like every tgirl/women I adore dressing up like every women/tgirl I adore spoiling myself - I have purchased several tiara's giggle yes I know I am crazy giggle.

My princess dreams are really simple and mostly involve me dressing in luxury underwear, pearls, tiara, heels.  

I would change my look my underwear and pose 

I would then slip into bed close my eyes and begin to play - Princess Tabby would give a little moan, perhaps even a squeal of delight and then she would orgasm, like a naughty girl she would eat her sissy cum and then slip into blissful sleep....

Do tell ladies, gentlemen  what are your little hidden dreams and fantasies, what makes you cum in your panties.....


  1. I always liked the idea of either forcably being turned into a girl (a wish, a medallion, etc), or by accident (and stuck for 24 hours). Doesn't matter the situation, but I have to try my hardest to pass as a woman during this period, and usually end up flirting with a guy

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