I have spent many days and nights wondering what I want to be - OMG I hear you all cry has she not got her head around that - we thought you were a brunette, not a dumb blonde! (giggle sorry all you yummy blonde darlings was making a point)
To answer you all - No I have not and with my experiences with Sir or Mr Black and the other girls in the Academy I am even more unsure and torn there are some constants.
Certain things I know are right for me but they clash with other feelings and experiences which feel right which make me happy. I know I am lost and a little afraid and some nights I do still cry myself to sleep and with the horrid things my sister is experiencing (hence my recent disappearance along with my stay at Blacklands) which overwhelmed me for a while but thanks to Sir I was able to control those issues and understand them. The more I think the more I sense there are several women in me...
I want Sir to see me like this to imagine me as his slave his toy his object.
To control me in subtle ways to make me his
I want to feel luxurious and spoilt
I want him to desire me and I want him to think of me as his friend, his slut, his toy, his lover and above all his favourite
I will try not to displease him - but I understand the need for order and discipline
I also understand his manly needs and I am there to service them
If he needs me to be his school girl or princess I will do so without questioning
I will learn to be more and more femm for him
I will learn to carry myself in public and always add to his standing - I will be pretty and ladylike at all times and always do his bidding
I will worship his cock and convince myself his cum is pure ambrosia - I will lick each drop from my fingers
I will thank him for cumming on me in me
I will always dress in a sensual manner even when I am home alone - I will always be slim for him and train to be as femm as possible
I will tease him as a femm feline and be a kitten a pet to be collared and used
I want to be humiliated and made to be nothing more than his desires
I want him to force me to submit
I want to be a sex goddess a vixen a harlot I want to be hot
I want his touch to send me to the moon
I want him to have other women so that I can become their toy so that I can have a mistress so that I can be used by a women too.
I want to suck whos ever cock he tells me I want to help him manipulate people and take control from them I want him to use me in his games I want to know that I am controlling someone on his behalf
I want to be dangerous sassy and sexy
I want sir to give me sissy faggots so I can turn them into cute girls so that sir and I can fuck them I want my own little slave harem
I want to make those girls suck cock and make them eat cum.
Do you girls feel the same which of you needs, desires the same?