Saturday, 13 February 2010

Part 2 - Things are changing

Firstly I am in tears and for a change they are happy tears.

I am bewildered, confused but mostly touched by your comments on this post


I find myself asking why are these people being kind, honest and helpful. Most do not understand and never will understand the issues, the pain and the sheer madness I and girls like me experience.

I was soo touched by the support that I felt compelled to do something, anything worthwhile anything to return the support the care you have shown me.

I want to share this with you all. Who I consider my friends.

I posted the original post Last Wed I think. I think it was the 10th of Feb. I was very much ready to give in very much unsure of everything. I know I am lucky too look the way I do and I do understand most tgirls do not have the genetic luck that I do. So I should be reveling in my femininity, I should be exploring everything all tastes, textures and passions.

Well ladies that is the issue what am I exploring, what are my starting points, end points and how do I know I am not going mad.

I was told by a very successful tgirl friend I have 3 choices - she said any tgirl that looks semi passable was either an escort, or ends up taking part in adult films, or lastly finds the best looking rich guy I can and hope that time is kind to me so that he stays for as long as possible.

I can not believe that those are my only options why go through the pain and suffering and abuse for those options? Why?

But my friend has much more experience and she is further along her journey.

I cry a lot at the moment and that seems to be the best thing that I do. That and dressing. Giggle.

I called my GP on Thursday morning and arranged an emergency appointment and just burst into tears....

Some very kind words, some very stern words and then a hot cup of tea and I felt a little better. I went home and spoke to my sister had a little read and chatted to a friend and I felt 100 times better. That evening I decided to do something for someone. I was in my mind going to prove my tgirl friend wrong - I can not mention her as she has a very active site and a very active escort.

I was not sure what to do - how do I prove her wrong....

I finally had a little brain wave. I called my local CAB (citizen advise bureau) I remembered a story in the local paper asking for volunteers to help with back room paper work.

I called and explained that I wanted to help and that I was transgendered. I think they were a little taken aback but they agreed to meet with me on Friday 19th.

As you can imagine I spent several hours considering what to wear. Something business like and serious but a little flirty too.

I spent hours going through my wardrobe only to decide that I had nothing of the right tone to wear. I thought long and hard about the message and how these people would feel about me so I looked through the M&S site and settled on the following outfit


From M&S Autograph range. weekend Pencil Skirt


The open kneck 3/4 sleeve blouse


Ultimate Magic Secret Support - Firm



40 denier holdups



And from their autograph range these heels in petrol

Part 3 to follow.....

5 comments:

  1. First, let me say I really like the style of clothes that you picked out - I have very similar tastes. Second, there are more than the three choices your friend mentioned. Why not just live the life that you are as a TG? Volunteering is a great way to spend time. Be true to yourself.

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  2. you are so awesome, good luck.

    kisses, michelle

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  3. Sorry I have been so busy and not able to contact you more. Of the three choices, well, part of me would love to be sexy enough to do adult films. I at least would want to dance. Still, I agree with you. There is more than those three. Besides, who says you can't find a nice girl or Tgirl and settle down? Even though I am this loser virgin, a small part of me still believes I will encounter physical love one day. I am realizing that I will be in a very confused state, as I am more and more wanting to function as a woman sexually and my small poor little thing is complying somewhat. So take it for what it is worth. Volunteering is a great way to explore life. Just remember, stupid and ignorant people will be encountered there as well, so stay strong sister.

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  4. Hi
    you are so much a girl, you probably don't realise it. re-read your posts - they say all girl to me (e.g. emotional, crying, insecure - all typically girly traites)

    as stated before, you are so lucky to look so good - i for one would love to see more photos of you - you should embrace it. whether this is as an escort, searching for a "husband" or any other of 1000's of choices you can make.

    there are more than 3 choices - you can choose anything you want to be.

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  5. thank you - in tears as usual

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