Being Femm: A defining moment

Several days ago I received an email from a couple. I had no idea how to respond to their request and mulled over my feelings, the potential harm I may cause by responding and what my true feelings were.

They emailed me again with the original request and a plea for me to respond.

Again I wondered what I should do and finally having spoken to a very authoritative gentlemen I have recently met (more on him later) I decided to email the couple back.

I asked them if I could respond via my blog and that I would spare their blushes by using their first names only. I also asked permission to post their email on my blog.

They agreed.

Dear Tabby,

My name is Lisa and I am married to David. We are both in our early 30's we live in London both work in the City for a well known Re-Insurance company. I am in marketing I work directly for the marketing manager.

David works in the prediction part of the business he has a very stressful job. He and his team have to work out the insurance ratios. Some nights he is almost in tears as he has a lot of responsibility and does not cope well with it from time to time.

We both like to cycle and spend Saturday's playing tennis. We both love to shop and have a small circle or very good friends. I am rambling now because I am not sure what to say. I am hurt, upset and very angry.

Several days ago David worked from home and I went in as usual. I got to the station and was half way in to work when I decided to go back home. I have no idea why I did this. I got off the tube and walked across the platform and headed waited for the train back.

I got back to my tube station (please note I have removed a little bit of Lisa's description as it would place her at a location and station and I wanted to keep her identity a secret). I walked home slowly and stopped at the flower stall on the corner and purchased a few roses I also picked up some fresh pastries and headed home.

I got in and placed my shopping in the kitchen and walked into our bedroom to take off my work clothes and shoes and on the bed was my husband dressed in my lingerie, made up like a slut with a vibrator in hand, a picture of you and his cock at full mast.

I screamed.

He screamed

I ran out of the flat

I later learnt he got up and changed cleaned himself and waited for me in tears on the sofa

I just walked my phone kept ringing I did not look to see who it was

I got back to the flat about 4 hours later and found him sobbing in the corner. I hugged him and we made coffee and sat down to chat.

He explained he was not gay and loved women he loved their clothes, their movement, the idea of being a femm. He was envious of how a women could let go and be taken care of not to have to make decision he was tired and upset and could not explain fully but he managed to express his desires and needs but most of all his fear of taking charge he had to do it everyday at work and just wanted someone else to carry the load and when he became Sindy he did not have to take any responsibility.

I asked him who the girl was in the picture and he showed me your blog. I have spent almost 2 days reading it and I don't know if I should hate you, feel sorry for you or admire you.

I do feel you owe me something - what I ask from you is an explanation of David and Sindy - I want to know what to do, should I support this need of his?

Kind regards

Lisa

Once I had read the email all I could say was WOW. There are guys out there wanking over me! Giggle Blush I wonder what they think of when they cum on my picture? Then my common sense kicked in and my pity for David and Lisa situation.

What should I say or do. I must admit to almost crying myself to sleep from a mixture of shame, fear and sympathy. I woke several times during that night and had to really think about what I was feeling. Curiosity, a sense of purpose for the first time in years but why? Sympathy anger fear washed over me I just was not sure what I could or could not say - for god sake someones marriage depended on ME.

I called my new friend it was 3:30am and I just knew he would be ok with it. He answered yes Tabby his deep voice softly spoken sent a little shiver through me. (A quick diversion from David and Lisa - Several days ago I met through a photographer friend of mine a guy who runs a Digital Start Up. He is so commanding, well dressed and subtle - nothing about him screams look at me but the quality of everything he does, wears etc. As an example he has Trickers shoes, Sunspel underwear, Gieves suits and a Patek Philippe watch understated quality. He is measured and self assured and calm. I was sooo drawn to him. I felt myself just letting go we chatted over coffee and I showed him my blog on his iPad - he just laughed and said what a wonder head I must have. We chatted a little more and then went to have a meal we ended up in Shoreditch House we had a few drinks and then he put me in a cab kissed me good night and said he would call. He did and we have been chatting I like him so much. Back to my call and David and Lisa)

I calmed myself and asked him if I could send the email on he said ok. I heard him getting out of bed and heard another voice - I asked him who it was. He replied some girl I picked up he handed the phone to her and she said hi, I said hi and blushed he took the phone from her and said I have my iPad have you sent the email I said yes.

Pause - silence I could her him telling the girl to be quite and to go to sleep

Ok I have just been through the email what do you want to do.

Nothing was my response

Ok do nothing he responded

But...I stammered

Look Tabby he said softly if you respond at all you need to be measured and controlled

But I said it would be unfair of me not to be honest and tell Lisa the truth about who David potentially is

Yes I agree but you don't know him or his situation.

Ok was all I could say I felt like a school girl being told off I blushed and said thank you

He said look I am busy over the next few days perhaps we can meet to chat things through on Thursday evening.

Ok.

I put the phone down and pouted - who was that bitch in bed with him...

We spoke and he simply told me to do what I felt was right. By this time Lisa had emailed me again. I emailed her back and asked permission to respond via the blog. She agreed.

Girls can you all share your experiences I really want to be as complete for Lisa as possible.

I thought long and hard about how to respond and what to say - what does Lisa know about tgirls, pre and post op, shemales, cross dressers sissies and other gurl types. I decided to start from the beginning and Lisa can take from this post what she needs.

Starting with the most relevant - David or in his case Sindy sounds like a Cross Dresser. There are 1,000's of guys who cross dress some for sexual reasons others because they are on a journey to discovering they are gay and femm or like me they move to being a pre op Tgirl.

Most cross dresses never leave the bedroom they are not convincing and have several fantasies these are the most common.

Schoolgirl, PA or secretary, Maid, Slave, Air hostess and Nurses. For most cross dressers the clothes, uniforms and role playing play a huge role, pretending to be a bride or slave is very common, although most cross dressers do have strong fantasies about being taken by a man or used by a women wearing a strapon some also do dream about being used by a tgirl or shemale they are not normally fully gay think of them as Bi and they have managed to work into their little sissy head that when dressed they can dream about sucking a cock and feel it is ok as they are girls. They also do have strong lesbian fantasies and many cross dressers believe their female alter ego is Bi or a lesbian they can not imagine being gay as a man or dressed as one.

Most cross dressers order uniforms and clothing from stores like Ann Summers. The clothing is much more sexualised and aimed at role playing rather than being real copies of female clothing.

They imagine themselves dressed and in the role

Lingerie also play a huge role and this is possibly the first entry point for most cross dressers like David an older sisters' lacy knickers and bra - mums naughty babydoll. Corsets seem to send those silly cross dressers in to such a tiz

Anything femm girly or slightly naughty - gloves and details like hold ups or stockings again send them into a spin. They imagine wearing the clothes a guy would imagine a girl thinks is sexy.

They love accessories and collars / chokers / lace and silk.

It is worth pointing out that some girls take a slight turn in the road and enter a little explored arena of cross dressing - I know a few girls that have explored this area they tend to be much more 'nerdy' and I have found that in their male role they tend to be in either very technical or very creative roles.

Sometimes refer to in the main stream as cos play (costume play) you can see instantly why it appeals to cross dressers and to some extent tgirls - you could argue that cross dressing is a form of cos play.

There is one major distinction cross dressers do this for sexual reasons.

Princess Leah is always popular as is supergirl type costumes

Some girls fixate on a particular costume or character and imagine that person as a female version or somehow that individual has been transformed into a female version of the original. For some reason side kicks seem to be popular for example Robin from Batman and Robin.

Main characters are also popular, Superman, Batman are always fantasied to be transformed and many girls will write fictional stories about these characters

My first fictional crush was the normal geek type crush with Princess Leah and ever since I do admit to looking for good examples of the costume. Blush.

Man are sooo sad really - and somehow cross dressers tgirls and shemales may be the extreme versions of femininity but deep down we are sooo like men - perhaps that is why we have such a difficult time coming to terms with who and what we are.

Other girls and I am convinced David's Sindy is one fixate on items of clothing or elements of dressing for example I adore knickers with skirts I love them I have no idea why just that I love them and can not pass up purchasing a new one.

Some girls have a thing for blindfolds, silk, stockings, headband, ribbons a particular cut of clothing etc, It really does pay to find out what your little Sindy likes, use it to control her.

Many girls move on to 'Bridal role playing' I know many men who have been away to hotels at the weekend and have pretended to be a bride they have paid a small fortune to stay at a hotel and have their turn as a bride other cross dressers will have also paid to attend along with genetic female staff.

A friend who is a very convincing cross dressers has two holidays a year both of which are spent at a hotel for cross dressers he serves there as a hotel maid. I have been myself (that is where I met the cross dresser Sally) I stayed and dressed as a PA to the hotel manager and Sally cleaned my room - we made love like to girls and it was so intense and so real female partners are also allowed and can also join in the role play. Sindy will adore it. While she is away I recommend you play.

They even run courses - I know two excellent private Hotel / BB's where they run courses for cross dresses I highly recommend them as they will speed up Sindy's development but also her ability to dress and be femm in front of others and her eventual use by a man.

Course 1 is know as the Bride and he Matron of Honour

You are paired at the start of the course to another cross dresser you then are separated and cleaned prepped and then put back in a twin room. The course lasts for 6 days and it is split in two the first three days you are the bride and your room mate is the matron of honour and then you reverse the roles.

Most girls make love for the first time to another cross dresser and this is the time Sindy will fully awaken or stay as a cross dresser. Most girls move on and from that moment on they want the real experience from that moment being fucked and used by a man is their goal they might not admit it they might be ashamed of it but they long for it.

The course is full of stimulants both natural and man made - White wine is in abundance, the genetic girls are sooo encouraging everyone is ultra nervous so is soo nice and complementary the days are long the lingerie and costumes are divine - no on is forced to but you just can not help yourself you avoid masturbation as you are in a shared room and with all the stimulus and nervous, anxious energy you are ready to explode by the 2nd night.

As the bride you are dressed and as matron of honour you help the bride it is intoxicating for the poor little cross dresser for many it is the first time with very realistic breast forms and wigs this really does make the girls swoon

You have fittings for the dress you choose from a selection

You pamper each other, help each other dress

It is an amazing few days.

The second course is only recommended to those that have completed the first.

You are school girl in a prep school the rooms are very much like dorm rooms each room has 4 girls. Each girl has been screened and also has been on the first course. The girls take pride in their looks and are starting to get very convincing.

The course is run over 5 days with the optional weekend stay. Most girls who have not booked the weekend stay change their minds and book it my the 3rd or 4th day.

On arrival all the boys are sent to a large room told to strip and their clothes and bags are taken from them the most the hotel can take is 20 girls so 5 groups of four girls. You stand in the room naked and then your name is called (female name) and as you step forward you are given your clothes for the next few days each girl has already filled in the forms so the clothes fit as do the shoes. You are then sent to your room and told to be ready within 2 hours as there will be an inspection. The groups are pitted against each other and the winning group gets extra privileges the girls try very hard - peer pressure is part of the process - failing a task means the entire group is demerited and therefore the girls keep each other in check. Each group is given the same uniform but in a different colour this again is meant to re-enforce your belonging to a your group.

Most girls arrive clean and ready to en femm so their transformation is quick they stand to attention as the Head Mistress checks each room.

You are called forward and told to tell the girls in your group your real name and honestly about your life if you are married etc. This creates a bond and most girls burst into tears it is a very powerful moment and the girls remain friends for a very long time after this course.

One girl is always singled out and this is done by handing a note to the other three she is then picked on a little and the group's captain is allowed to be a bit of a bully. Yes all girls must wear wigs or style their hair en femm and breast forms.

The ultimate goal is to suck a cock by the end of the 5th day and believe me Lisa they will have Sindy begging for cock like a slut.

From this stage they develop into soft core versions or fetish wear and bondage the sub cross dressers begins to imagine his master or mistress more and the not so sub (remember all cross dressers are sub to genetic females and males) imagine tight skirts corsetry and being in charge of other girls.

The clothing, makeup etc becomes more sophisticated and their needs deepen their shame is heighten when they cum and that humiliation for many is also a turn on and paradoxically a turn off also.

The act of simply dressing now has also become sexual for them and they luxuriate in the process. Lisa darling this is where I believe your David is at. Sindy has reached a level of maturity that will allow you to manipulate her.

Many girls at this stage and I am positive Sindy (David) is one such girl, develop a fantasy person they wish they could be sometimes it is an old girlfriend or neighbour but mostly it is a famous person a sexual icon who is growing into a diva you can test this theory by 4 simple questions:

1. Call her a girl and refer to her in a conversation as female and watch her blush and turn femm before your eyes her movements and manner will give her away

2. Ask her to select an outfit from your clothing that she finds sexy the entire outfit - I will bet she selects a very femm but sophisticated outfit - she has grown up a little

3. My point above - ask her which famous girl she adores and why

4. Ask her does she want a man does she crave a man - she might let things slip and admit to having been with a man - how re-act is important smile and giggle and call her a slut and ask her to tell you all about it in detail was she dressed as her gently.

Cross dressers and to some extent sissies and tgirls will focus on a girl that is recently becoming a women Kate is an excellent example she is recently married becoming a women dressing well and in the lime light. Someone like Emma is also of interest as she is growing up and gurls (gurls = a generic term for cross dressers, tgirls etc) discovering her womenhood.

Ok I have embarrassed poor Sindy a lot so far my turn to blush - my thing when I cross dressed was always an airhostess I dreamed of fucking and sucking my way around the world.

Ok the next stage Sindy will develop and do note Lisa you can control her development and direction. But if you leave her to develop she will look for authenticity in her clothing and roles - but they are always ultra versions of the females they are trying to emulate - the skirts are tighter, blouses more open, heels higher etc. Imagine the ultimate PA or secretary. Cross dressers love the attention the detail in dressing and role playing this idea. Sindy will have and make no mistake this has happened.

She has dressed as a secretary. Then she has fought the urger to play with herself. She has cleaned the house and then pretended to do paperwork while fighting her sissy clit (cross dresser tgirl slang for their cocks) and her blushes - finally she will have given up and that dildo, vibrator you have hidden he would have fucked himself silly with until he came - he would then lick his hand clean of his cum and then undress in a shamed hurry - blushing and cursing himself. - Sindy for the moment is gone locked behind a wall of shame. The need to look like this is a powerful wrecking ball and his shame is short lived...

The classic next step is wonderful to watch unfold - I do implore you Lisa to get much more involved at this stage. The girls create elaborate stories positioning themselves within a real but extreme situation which inevitably ends when they are taken by a man or forced to suck a cock. They usually cum and then run around the house trying to hide the evidence and then their shame kicks in. Now Lisa darling I would use this shame to manage David and then abuse Sindy. You can create all sorts of fun for yourself. Imagine having your own live in maid to bathe you. Or to cook and serve you at the weekend, your only sacrifice watching your husband en-femm and unless you buy him knickers yours being stretch.

If you can put up with the humiliation of your husband then go girl it will be a lot of fun. You can tease him into doing anything a little sissy milking, dress him a little, flirt with him and he will do anything - even watch you being pummelled by a real man he will even suck your lovers cock if you take David in hand and grow your little sissy into a women.

Moving on...Many cross dressers, sissies and tgirls love the idea of a master or mistress

Most girls like David and myself imagine scenarios like this. We all silly men that we are imagine every girl has had a lesbian relationship and we would die to know what you all talk about. Lots of more serious cross dressers and Sindy sounds like one and tgirls are desperate to experience the stages of womenhood. They long to experience the various stages of growing up as a girl, friendships, shopping, dating, chatting with friends, makeup, fashion everything they want to absorb a lifetime of female emotions and experience each time they become their female alter ego.

This is a potential issue for you, unless ofcourse you want to turn David into Sissy Sindy. Some cross dressers get a little stuck in little girl mode / school girl mode some even regress further.

they dream about pink frills and ankle socks

This can be frustrating you really do not want a sissy they are the lowest form of cross dresser and although connected to school girl look they do tend to be frustrating because they have regressed.

It is not much fun having to change his nappy is it?

Slowly develop her again and make sure you tease her with sexy undies and sensual clothing but only if she is willing to grow up.

Sindy will now be back at the school girl stage but she will be different and this can be exploited she will want to be a particular type of school girl. The uniform will mater her behaviour will change as she adopts the new Sindy into herself she will become more girlie and femm she will start to act like a teenage girl

She may even develop an attitude this needs to be spanked out of her quickly.

She will need to understand you are in charge. Dress in his clothing and put her over your knee and teach her a lesson. Several techniques will work use them all keep her guessing and most of all do enjoy yourself.

I do think a combination of spanking as a school girl and shaming her and also

forcing her to explore her cos play and role play tendencies make her your little pet kitten. Refer to her as a kitten or cute or pet. Make her eat out of a bowl in the floor keep her naked and collared with a lead this really does work. You will notice she will have almost a permeant erection - ignore it - she will start to rub her sissy clit on everything just spank her or a cold soup spoon in hand a gently whack on the end of her sissy clit will soon see it return to its pathetic flaccid state.

Make sure you handle her roughly and switch between being loving and being dom. Do not explain your reasons simply make sure she does what you tell her at all times. Sometimes I recommend you make her pose like a prized bred animal. Inspect her make her behave like a puppy or kitten.

Make sure you are always in control. Punish her often.

Leave her tied up for a while and make sure you return untie her and are gentle and loving and then demand she hands you her lead

Start to demand she wear a variety of accessories make her feel more like an animal a pet. If she refuses then milk her on all fours let her cum on your hand and then make her lick it clean make her purr while she is doing this.

From this stage you can pretty much do anything you wish she will beg you to let her cum so use this power explore your fetishes and ideas if you want a kitty cat then dress her and yourself and make her wear a tail push her limits

Sometimes join in other times remain aloof you must always be in control and in charge.

Dress her sometimes and lead her around the house on all fours she will break soon

Surprise her one day by telling her you have booked a 5 star hotel room and show her a suitcase full of lingerie and tell her when you both get there you will be spending the whole weekend dressed as lesbian lovers. Tell her for the next 5 days there will be no sex or masturbation or the weekend is canceled.

When you arrive strip him and then dress as a dom and wear a strap on the whole weekend and make him suck you while you fuck his ass pussy silly.

Have fun with Sindy now make her scrub the floor as a scullery maid - keep telling her this is what it means to be a women

Make her clean in her underwear make her wear breast forms compliment her on her femm figure and keep her in a heighten state of arousal.

Dom her - keep her guessing

The next stage is crucial dress Sindy make her beautiful and then complain while you both lie in bed moan and purr about needing a cock a fat thick hard cock. Tell her to strip and to take you...

As she enters you lie there and do not move or make a sound - The tell her to get off get out of bed and
apply a chastity device to her sissy clit and then attach a strap on tell her that she is not a man anymore and that you need more cock ask her to fuck you know with the strap on.

Let Sindy play for a little bit and then again get out of bed tell her it is not working

Dress her and then put on the strap on and fuck her mouth and asspussy humiliate her convince her that she can not please you sexually anymore.

From here you can spend several days training her as your maid.

Make sure you are always Dom do not let her see any soft side anything she can cling to for hope.

Now comes the difficult bit convince her you want to make love to a threesome she is your lesbian lover and you want another male submissive cross dresser - make it fun let her select someone from the online forums play a little.

Make sure you are Dom play with your new sissy both en femm and the new girl as a male. Make sure Sindy is always enfemm for these little get togethers

Sometimes let the new girl dress and make Sindy and the new girl make love. Watch them train them and do have fun with them.

Let the girls become very friendly let them meet up together to dress and play. Encourage them to take on a lesbian style relationship. Do join in occasionally

Force them to kiss and play - make them dress and live out each others fantasies

Make sure they make love only using strapons they are lesbians and so you need to keep the illusion at all times.

They are your toys, playthings never let them forget that

Make sure you have every ounce of her body under your spell. Regularly test her. Spank her make sure she understands her position, but do this while she is dressed in her favourite clothing make sure she confuses sexual need with your control.

Demote her back to being your pet for a few days then punish her. Humiliate her constantly tell her she is not a man she can not please you and that you are looking for a real man to please you and fill you.

Let the girls play invite them to tell you and each other their deepest darkest secrets. Lisa I can tell you Sindy will have several fantasies most involving being used like a women and several others involving school girls, pony girls, harem slave etc. The most common for girls at Sindy's stage is the Secretary with a male master mostly around discipline, spanking and sucking cock. I am sure Sindy is blushing as you both read this.

Service maid and mistresses also form strong influences on these types of girl

They are desperate to experience real female friendship and some create elaborate virtual friends and histories they then communicate online about. The girl at school that dressed him and made him want to be a women or the college roommate that also dressed and they discovered their true selfs

If you are noticing a recurring theme I don't blame you. Sindy is simply desperate and has a huge sexual appetite most tgirls, cross dressers and sissies do. They need constant control and management but the benefits are wonderful.

You can dress up together, have a maid a plaything a toy and even another lover. Sindy want mind

Infact she craves it she wants it sooo much it is her deepest secret - look at her Lisa is she blushing, is she almost in tears?

What she wants is depicted in the image below she wants you to take a lover and for her to serve you both.

Even as David now he will suck your lovers cock as long as you are there the humiliation will drive him on will make him want to be shamed.

David, Sindy wants to be your lovers toy

She wants to be used press her on this how often has she masturbated alone bitting her bottom lip dressed as a slut imaging her asspussy is full of fat thick black cock.

That her hair is being pulled and her masters cock is pummelling her hole.

Ask her how often she dreams of sucking cock? How often has she dreamt of submitting to a man

not any man but your lover and have you watch your lover turn David into Sindy and completely destroy his manhood.

Ask her about his cum and how she dreams of being covered by him, licking it up tasting his manhood

Ask het to tell you about the dreams of sucking your lovers cock with you

Ask her it it is true and watch her shame turn her face red and her silence be evidence of her shame and truth.

Ask her to show you how she will beg for his cock. How she will be his pet his toy not yours not his wifes but your lovers.

Listen to her describe what she will do and how desperate she is to have it done to her watch her blush from excitement and sexual need. She will bite her bottom lip and let out a small purr you will know that look your a women you get the same look you will know she is truly Sindy when she has that look the look a women gets on heat when she knows she is going to get a fucking like no other - girls we all do it we cant help it - now you are all blushing as I am.....

You will be desperate to please him and dress for him no longer for yourself Lisa you will watch as your David turns into Sindy then into something else - many wives, girlfriends get a little possessive at this stage they feel that the tgirl / crossdressers owes them something and that they should be loyal to the wife but the master is now involved and he takes over his is in control of you both. Lisa darling let go and enjoy trust me...

Let him use Sindy and he will make use of you also please him and make Sindy please you.

Watch him take Sindy's cock in hand and watch how easily Sindy is controlled and how much she desires his cock

Play with Sindy enjoy your dreams and fantasies dress Sindy as you see fit

Let your lover your master take her away for the weekend for training and enjoy it when she returns listen to her tale as you drink wine and have her lick you out.

marvel at how many other girls were humiliated and in the ingenious and wonderful ways

Learn to enjoy these times of freedom dress and enjoy discover new friends and lovers. Explore your naughty side.

Ask Sindy to describe right now her three top fantasies - trust me she is sooo easy to manipulate as most cross dressers are. She will have been manipulated by some of the imagery and other questions she will tell you she would love to work for a master as a maid with other girls

Or a slave to a mistress, a pet used and abused, humiliated and teased constantly

and her most hidden most deepest of secrets she longs to be fucked long and hard by men

She wants a fat thick cock in her mouth

She wants to feel submissive and wanton

She longs to be a women touched, used controlled but most of all filled with a mans rod

Hair pulled tight as he forces his cock into your husband as David is pushed away literately by another mans cock - each thrust pushes David away and gives more room for Sindy - each thrust makes him more her....

Let Sindy enjoy the journey help her to discover her true self and then let her become the girl she dreams of being. Sindy may turn out to be elegant and sophisticated she may want lovers to be a reflection of what you wanted from David

She may be slutty and long for men to use her like a plaything, spanking her and humiliating her

She may long for female lovers, role playing with other cross dressers or tgirls

She may want to journey to become a shemale - tgirl. It can be so much fun being a tgirl - it can also be very lonely and scary but if you support her it can be so wonderful for you both