Monday, 30 January 2012

A little update

Where have you been?
Tabby what is wrong?
Babe are you ok?
Sweetheart what is going on?
Where are you?
Has something happend?

Thank you all for your support and concerns.

In answer to all my darling friends, fans and concerned parties...

I have been no-where
Everything is wrong
No I am not ok
I have upset a few people and have really lost my way
At home hiding
Yes something awful

I really come close to never posting again. I upset someone I truly admire. She rightly will never speak to me again even though I have offered her everything short of begging in Twitter to try to make things right. I realised that I will forever be on the outskirts of society. Caught between my desperate need to be female and my more base and humiliating shameful desires.

My curse really is simple I can pass as a women perhaps not under close scrutiny but in passing you would not look twice at a plain skinny slightly taller than average women. This means two things I don't hide in the closet like many of my kind - fat, hairy TV's desperately wanking off in their wives panties.

No I was lucky I felt my need to dress early and was born with a very femm look.

The picture below was taken late on in my teens and as you can see even in 'boy form' I am not exactly macho.


  1. Do not dispair so. Look inside yourself and you will see that you have no malice for your friend. NO evil. Your friend simply learned a hard truth or misunderstood something. If he or she is truly your friend then time will fix this. Do not beg. Do not ask too often. But let your friend know from time to time that you still care and that you will be there when he or she is readdy to talk. You can fix this. But first take a deep breath and relax. Time and compassion can heal anything.

  2. There are so many opinions in my head right now. They all are based on assumptions and I am not going to spout them. Not sure what you did, who it was, or what the whole mess is really about, but if you have sincerely tried, then you have done all you can Sweetie. If there is something you have not done, well, it is up to you to try. At some point though it shifts from being something you can fix or atone for to what they can accept and forgive.

    Be strong. Know that people somewhere out here in cyberspace care about you when it feels like no one around you does. Just recently some of my friends at Rachel's Haven really pulled me out of the darkness when I was spiraling. I have never seen them or will never be able to give them a hug, but they are out there and it helps.

    *Hugs you and gives you a kiss on the head*

  3. A US children's author said "there is no one youer than you."
    Your cyberspace sisters and admirers have accepted you as you are. Don't beat yourself too bad, you've tried to reconcile with your friend. Let her go.

  4. don't take it so hard sweetie, you're awesome honey, Lady Alexia is right when she says "Know that people somewhere out here in cyberspace care about you when it feels like no one around you does."
    Maybe we don't really know you but above all we appreciate you and we send all of our love....

    *Hugs you and gives you a kiss on the head*

  5. Mon dieu! You are so beautiful. Any plans to come to Paris in the near future. I would love to meet you. Like you're taste in music. I was in the crowd at Kraftwerk's first live show in years many moons ago, a big rave, Universe I 'fink. Very similar history although I started dressing up at the tender age of 8. You look so sweet!

    à bientôt

  6. dont despair have a hug

  7. You are pretty cruel towards people who don't look as passable as you. You need to be more mature and a lot kinder. Wouldn't miss you if you stopped posting

  8. Thank you for all the support. Steve do you really feel that way?

  9. "This means two things I don't hide in the closet like many of my kind - fat, hairy TV's desperately wanking off in their wives panties." Yes - that's what we do, but it's rather unbecoming to rub our faces in the obvious. You said you were lucky and you are very correct. Please be thankful for your gifts and have compassion for those of us who know we will never be able to walk in the world as we would dream. You see...we live our dreams through you and your feminine journey. When you share your trials and triumphs, we too sympathize and rejoice. You have much to offer the world, especially to those less blessed as you. Do not hide.

  10. Maybe Stevie and miss pantiwaste got a point, Tabby, i'm not fat and i buy my own panties and my partner (she) accept it, but now you're a kind of idol to many, it's no longer about you or some selfish triviality it's about what you're representing for all of us. You will start feeling better when you start looking at yourself that way, lucky, loved, adored, beautifull, fullfilled. start to demonstrate empathy with all your sisters of dreams and, in mostly of the cases, unfulfilled dreams. Seriously, in some countries all the people will hang us, torture us, etc, just for Being Femm . . . .

    Love and kisses honey . . .

  11. You are way too attractive. You have a fantastic look! I'm sure Mr Black is really lucky. Although I guess I'm not sure whether you're more attracted to women or men :) It's funny because even your 'boyish' pictures are femm!